Decided to take a quick trip to my not-so-local, but favorite Starbucks.

A fairly new person is on the register, Ty. Frankly, he’s lasted a lot longer than I thought he would – I’d given him until Friday of his first week, but it’s close to the end of his second. Still has no clue. Still slower than any metaphorically slow thing you can think of. Still gets orders wrong the first few times you say it. He asks what I’m having and I give my usual order: iced triple espresso, in a grande cup with extra ice.

‘Okay,’ he says, and starts keying things into the register. ‘So that’s a grande what?’

‘No,’ I say, ‘an iced triple espresso…’

[tap-tap-tap] ‘Caramel espresso…’ [tap-tap]

‘Iced! Iced triple espresso.’

[tap-tap-tap-tap-tap] ‘Okay, iced triple espresso…’ [tap]

‘In a grande cup with extra ice.’

‘Ok’ [tap-tap-tap] ‘So a iced triple espresso in a grande cup?’

‘Yes,’ I say. ‘With extra ice.’ [stares blankly into my face] ‘It’s fine,’ I say, ‘it’s fine.’

He does a bit more tapping and I see ‘add shot’ and ‘grande cup’ go across and then everything zeroes out and he starts entering again. Eventually, its over. The price comes out to what I usually pay, so I figure: all good.

Go to the end of the bar to wait for my drink. Eventually, the barista calls ‘triple espresso’ and holds out a hot triple espresso in a short cup – no ice anywhere in the vicinity of the cup. I palm my face and say ‘no, no, no.’ Immediately she laughs and asks ‘what did you really order?’

So, they know. THEY KNOW! They know how bad this bozo is and, still they keep him on.

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